The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
