so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
