ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
