I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
