dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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