You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
