i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
