We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
