so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
