He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
