I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
