Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
