Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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