I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
