Umm I'm too high to move.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
