well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Michael Bay diarrhea
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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