Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
