can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
