She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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