Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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