You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Boobs speak an international language.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
