Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
