He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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