Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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