don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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