the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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