I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
