That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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