I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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