Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
