Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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