She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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