your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
