You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
