oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
