I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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