I wish I could teleport
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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