As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize