omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
