at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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