Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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