so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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