your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
