so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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