i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
