Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
