Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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