just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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