Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
