drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
