she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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